As someone who always lacked confidence, I've been working on overcoming low self esteem myself for some time, and it certainly seems to be an ongoing project. But I can see that, little by little, I have made great progress and my self esteem and confidence continue to grow. Low self esteem seems to be such a common issue for many.
So how would you define self esteem? While there are many aspects to self esteem, I would broadly define it like this:
Self esteem is feeling good about yourself. It is having respect, acceptance and belief in yourself, regardless of the opinions of others. Self esteem comes from within.
Not sure about your own self esteem? Click here for a list of the signs of low self esteem.
Overcoming low self esteem and building confidence is a gradual process. It involves working on the various areas of your life that, as a whole, will enhance your sense of self worth. But you need to start somewhere, so why not start now! You deserve to feel good about yourself.
Before we get further into overcoming low self esteem, what are some of the causes of low self esteem? Of course, these differ from person to person, but there are many pre-disposing factors to growing up feeling less than adequate. Please click here to go to my page specifically about the causes of low self esteem if you would like to learn more.
So what did I do to start improving my own self esteem? Well, initially I
didn't start out specifically trying to work on self esteem - I did
that later. But I found that as I began working on improving my emotional state and addressing and releasing old pain and grief, and improving my mental outlook, then my confidence and self esteem began to improve naturally.
But there are also steps you can take to specifically work on improving self esteem, and I will talk about those also.
So here is my step-by-step guide to overcoming low self esteem, and what worked for me.
1. Work On Releasing Your Old Emotional Pain
The experience of life creates a multitude of situations, events and encounters and we all respond to these experiences in our own way. Unpleasant experiences can lead to negative emotions, and when we don't fully accept and allow the emotion to flow through us, we are left with the energy of this negativity living within our own energy bodies.
This negative energy can accumulate over time, and we continue to carry it with us. This negative energy has an impact on the way we think and behave, including the way we think about ourselves.
For example, my own father was highly critical of everything I did and never gave praise, only negative comments - no matter how great my achievements. I spent much of my childhood (and even adult life) trying to impress him and gain his approval, but of course it never came.
The emotional pain this created stayed with me and obviously affected the way I thought myself. But this is just one example. Everyone's life path is different and your energy pain-body will be different to mine. But we can all benefit from doing emotional release and healing exercises, and that is exactly one of the things I did.
Emotional healing exercises can help us to accept and then release old negative emotions (and even new ones) from our energy system, allowing our true selves to begin shining through. I have created a whole section on my website about emotional healing, so click here on my link, scroll down and discover some of my favourite emotional healing exercises.
They're easy to do, and are well worth the time.
Flower essences are also a fantastic and easy form of emotional healing.
2. Examine Your Thoughts And Your Mind Chatter
Humans have a habit of focusing on the negative, and the negative energy from withheld emotional pain that I spoke about above further encourages this. Most of us have so many negative thoughts stream habitually through our heads all day that most of the time we don't even notice it.
So what thoughts go through your head as you go about your day? And, more importantly when you have low self esteem, what are you saying about yourself to yourself?
Do you make a mistake and mumble "stupid idiot" under your breath before you even realise it? Do you look in the mirror and suddenly have a stream of negative comments about your appearance flash through your mind automatically?
Negative mind chatter will focus on anything negative about anyone and anything - including yourself. I believe it's vital to become aware of and begin addressing your negative self talk if you are to heal, expand and grow - and begin overcoming low self esteem.
I have done a lot of work on my own self talk, and I encourage you to do the same if you want to build your self esteem.
Please have a look at my section on self talk, where I teach you about the ways I began to turn my own self talk around for the better.
3. How To Increase Self Esteem By Nurturing Yourself
What have you done for yourself today? And I don't mean brushed your teeth or brought a new toaster. What have you done that brought you joy and helped you feel good?
If you have low self esteem, then you probably don't do much self nurturing because you feel you don't deserve it. But if you begin to make it a regular habit to do things just for yourself that bring you joy, then you get into that feeling of allowing yourself this time because you are worthwhile.
Click here for my list of little things you can do to nurture yourself and start overcoming low self esteem.
4. Keep A Notebook Of Positive Things About Yourself
Buy yourself a small notebook or journal that you find attractive. Now it is your task to write at least one thing in that journal everyday - no matter how small.
Everyday, think of at least one positive quality that you have or one positive thing you did that day. Most of us feel awkward appreciating and acknowledging good things about ourselves, so you may find it hard to get started. If it helps, you can ask someone you trust what they think is one of your positive qualities.
Here are some examples to get you started:
- I always smile when I pass a stranger in the street
- I performed my job to the best of my ability today
- I like to make people laugh
- I comforted my child when he felt scared
- I am proud of my honesty.
Getting into the habit of allowing yourself to acknowledge and accept your positive qualities will help train your mind to focus on your favourable aspects rather than on those you consider to be negative. And it feels good to feel good about yourself.
5. Use Flower Essences To Increase Your Self Esteem
Have you heard of flower essences? They are a truly remarkable healing tool. Flower essences are a totally safe, natural and powerful way to encourage emotional healing, release our negative beliefs and unlock our full potential.
There are flower essences that specifically address self esteem, and I have used a variety of flower essences myself to work on my own self esteem issues.
I have also helped my youngest son, who was incredibly shy and fearful. He is now at primary school and is a happy and confident child with many friends. So I have personally experienced wonderful changes from using the flower essences.
Would you like help overcoming low self esteem with the use of flower essences? The flowers have been such a powerful healing force in my life and the life of my family that I now offer flower essence services from this website. Please click here for more information.
6. Choose Your Relationships Wisely
So much of our self esteem is determined from the quality of our personal relationships. While good self esteem can only be built from within ourselves, if we keep company with those who belittle us or take advantage of us, we are not doing our self esteem any favours.
So choose your friends and partners wisely. While it is normal to experience negativity in any relationship from time to time, if you have a relationship, intimate or casual, that makes you feel less than adequate on a regular basis, then maybe it's time to respect yourself enough to move on.
I hope you've enjoyed my ideas about overcoming low self esteem. If you have any suggestions or comments, you can contact me here.